Man, every time I put my fingers to the key board to type this post I get a little misty.

Never did I imagine that you, little peanut, would steal my heart and open it so wide.

My life started changing about 10 months before you arrived, but, dang did it really change when you showed up 365 days ago, 8:30PM PST. People told me this would happen, but I lived in blissful denial- how I wish I had appreciated my sleep then.

This year has been a tremendous time for growth and reflection, for love, and for developing patience.

I’m sorry that I really wanted to return you from where you came those first three months. I really really loved you, but seriously. Go the f#ck to sleep could have been written about you.

It has been absolutely mind blowing to watch you discover your world: your hands, how your fingers fold, your reflection in the mirror.

Beans, I’m really trying not to get too mushy here. I just want to let the world know how it feels to scoop you up in my arms and press you against my chest. To kiss your forehead and rub our noses together. It is like nothing else, and all I need to make it through the day.

I could never really relate when people would tell me that their children were the best thing to ever happen to them. I simply didn’t believe it. You, my love, have changed that.

I know I haven’t been amazing about keeping up with the sign language, but if you could just throw me a bone here, that would be great. Just try nodding when I sign to you. You’ve already go shaking your head “no” down, just give nodding a try, kay?

Happy Birthday Ella Bean

I love you